On Endings
A relationship is pretty similar to a living being. The sorrow of its death is no less than the sorrow of losing a loved one. It's soul sapping to lose but even more soul sapping trying to hold on to what's already lost.
There were so many things you didn't want to do when you held on but that's the power of love. It makes you desperate. You were holding on to the last bit of hope to revive it. What was at stake wasn't merely a human being made of flesh and bones but a source of some of the most beautiful moments of your life and hopes of a future, although those hopes reside only in one heart and nowhere else.
You were compelled by this voice in your head that kept on telling you how devastating it would be to lose everything at once. You try clutching on to the last inches of the rope (or was it hope) because you are crippled by the prospect of losing your love forever to the universe. The proximity that two souls had managed to achieve in all these times would cease to mean anything and the universe will once again throw those two bodies and souls apart to never come close again. Where once stood a monument of emotions of all hues, there will exist nothing but deafening silence. As I said, the death of a relationship is nothing different from the death of a loved one and once everything begins crumbling, you're gripped by the fear of loss, and that too an irreversible one, like death. So many memories that you made in your time together would need to be removed from your mind, heart and soul, at least that's what the heart fears when the first sign of the impending disaster flickers. You lose yourself to desperation. You're no more the picture of sanity you were before. You're a sobbing, crying apology of a human whose every thought revolves around holding on. You don't know where to stop being that apology because you are hoping against hope. You're hoping that your words will make sense to the one departing but for them it's just a garbled voice, at a wavelength different from the one in which they hear their future, a future you clearly have no place in.
Every time sanity builds home in your mind, the tsunami of hopes derived from those movies and novels destroy it in seconds and you go back to being a person you never were. You hope again and arm yourself with more reasons on why things should not change. But that's what desperation has done to you, for you fail to realize that things have changed, if not for you but for someone else. And although you might like to believe that love is about two people, the truth is sometimes it all comes down to what one of them wants.
There were so many things you didn't want to do when you held on but that's the power of love. It makes you desperate. You were holding on to the last bit of hope to revive it. What was at stake wasn't merely a human being made of flesh and bones but a source of some of the most beautiful moments of your life and hopes of a future, although those hopes reside only in one heart and nowhere else.
You were compelled by this voice in your head that kept on telling you how devastating it would be to lose everything at once. You try clutching on to the last inches of the rope (or was it hope) because you are crippled by the prospect of losing your love forever to the universe. The proximity that two souls had managed to achieve in all these times would cease to mean anything and the universe will once again throw those two bodies and souls apart to never come close again. Where once stood a monument of emotions of all hues, there will exist nothing but deafening silence. As I said, the death of a relationship is nothing different from the death of a loved one and once everything begins crumbling, you're gripped by the fear of loss, and that too an irreversible one, like death. So many memories that you made in your time together would need to be removed from your mind, heart and soul, at least that's what the heart fears when the first sign of the impending disaster flickers. You lose yourself to desperation. You're no more the picture of sanity you were before. You're a sobbing, crying apology of a human whose every thought revolves around holding on. You don't know where to stop being that apology because you are hoping against hope. You're hoping that your words will make sense to the one departing but for them it's just a garbled voice, at a wavelength different from the one in which they hear their future, a future you clearly have no place in.
Every time sanity builds home in your mind, the tsunami of hopes derived from those movies and novels destroy it in seconds and you go back to being a person you never were. You hope again and arm yourself with more reasons on why things should not change. But that's what desperation has done to you, for you fail to realize that things have changed, if not for you but for someone else. And although you might like to believe that love is about two people, the truth is sometimes it all comes down to what one of them wants.
Comments
Post a Comment