Closure

 

Someday, we will all die and all our stories will come to an end, some without meeting. This post is for many such stories. 

Hey stranger, I want to have one last conversation with you. I want to sit with you like we used to for one last time and talk everything. I want to talk to you about every thought that I’ve gone to bed with every night and whose burden I’ve woken up with every morning. I want to ask you questions and I’m telling you this time I want answers because it will be our last conversation. I don’t want to be left hanging this time. I always hated your ‘nothing’ replies to my questions. I just don’t want to hear them when we talk the last time.

I seek a closure to all this and that’s why I ask from you this one last conversation. I need to hear from you what’s on your mind. I just wish to make sure that what I know is now our truth.  I just want to confirm that my heart is wrong in giving you the benefit of doubt for every wrong my brain accuses you of doing to me. Yes, that’s also why I want to meet you one final time. To know if I hate you or… It is frustrating to not know so much and yet believe that we have already met our last.

 

I understand everything between us was inconsequential. Maybe someday, I’ll only make for a good story for you to tell people about. I have thought about it so many times. But as much as I would hate to be one of your many stories, I also know that’s what eventually happens to all the unrequited loves in this world.

 

I have suffered the worst of pain in your love, the kind that stays so long with you that you grow addictive to it. Yet, I hope, and I totally do, that I feel it more often for different people in my journey ahead. Else, it’ll prove that I did really fall for you, something I want to be proved wrong about in future when I look back at my life.

 

On some days, the only solution to put an end to my endless addiction with your thoughts is to fall asleep. Trust me, I have begged for sleep on nights when my thoughts raced against the clock, listening to its tick-tock for hours in the cold wintery nights. But then, there come nights, the worst of them, when I fall asleep, only to meet you in my dreams.

 

I shudder to think that someday I will forget how it all felt. That everything that I felt so deeply will be nothing but a mere blur. It kills me to realize that details of so many beautiful memories have already started fading from my mind. And that’s why I write about you. And I will continue to write about all the memories we made together, no matter how much it pains. For when my memory won’t be able to walk straight on the foggy paths back, I’ll try to see you again through my little innocuous words.

 

I’m tired now. I’m tired of thinking and I’m tired of waiting. I’m tired of waiting for you to ask for the last conversation, but by the look of things, that’s not going to happen. And, truth be told, in my heart, even I know that I won’t ask you for it either. On days when I’m strong, I try to forget your memory. On days when I’m not, I wish to talk to you. Hence, this yearning today.

 

But it won’t happen. This request will find its way to the garbage bin in the form of another crumpled piece of paper. For I know, with you there can never be a final conversation for me. So, I will accept your final conversation as ‘our’ final conversation. Goodbye